Good morning!

Before I set off for work, (yes, I work weekends!) I wanted to leave you with an extract from my favourite book – Who Will Cry When You Die by Robin Sharma. I think it ties in really nicely with my post from yesterday.

We all travel different roads to our ultimate destinations. For some of us, the path is rockier than for others. But no-one reaches the end without facing some form of adversity. So rather than fight it, why not accept it as the way of life? Why not detach yourself from the outcomes and simply experience every circumstance that enters your life to the fullest? Feel the pain and savor the happiness. If you have never visited the valleys, the view from the mountaintop is not as breathtaking. Remember, there are no real failures in life, only results. There are no true tragedies, only lessons. And there really are no problems, only opportunities waiting to be recognised as solutions by the person of wisdom.

I really hope you all have a lovely weekend – speak soon

So what?

One of my favourite phrases is so what? It’s a question that I ask when faced with a problem; until I realise that the ‘problem’ is not so bad after all.

It’s something my dad taught me when he saw that I got worked up over the tiniest thing, even though it seemed so big to me. He’d ask me what the issue was:

The Internet doesn’t work! So what? I can’t finish my work. So what? Well, I have to give it in to my teacher; the deadline’s on Wednesday. So…? She’ll have a go at me! So what? I don’t want her to think that I’m a slacker. So what? Why do you care what she thinks? She’s just your teacher. Do your best with the textbooks and other resources you have. And when you give it in to her, just briefly explain that you had limited access to the information you needed, and that if it needs revising, you’d be happy to do it once the Internet’s back up. She’ll understand. And if she doesn’t, don’t worry! You’ve done your best – that’s all you can do!

After that, he’d get into the ‘back in my day…’ speech, so we’ll leave that at that. But he really had a point. Every ‘problem’ that I had, was so small and unnecessary. I would ask myself ‘so what’ until there was nothing left to say. In every situation.

• Being suspended from my job. Even if I do get sacked, I’ll find another job. I’m still young! This is a learning experience.
• Not having enough money. Money comes and goes. Save a bit more, work a little harder.
• Boyfriend possibly cheating. There’s 3 billion other guys on this planet, woman! On to the next one, I say! If he’s cheating, that is…

I loved the way my dad brought his two little words into every day. He didn’t care that we didn’t get A’s for every assignment. Or that we’d stay out a bit longer than we should have. He just appreciated that we were honest with him, and that we were still alive! Everything else was just an avoidable little hiccup.

I find that this is a great way to go about things. Be grateful for what you do have! Your so-called problems are only problems, because that’s what you’ve made them. Understand that you are so much more than your stresses, and that you have the power to control them. And if you don’t, and you can’t control it, then accept. It is what it is – learn from it, move on from it!

Remember – this is not a careless attitude; it’s a carefree attitude. Big difference.

Try it

The Real Problem With Technology

The problem with technology… Ah, I could be here for a while. And the irony of this, is that I’m using the Internet to complain about it – brilliant!

Now, before I start, I have to say this – MOST of the time, modern technology can be used for great purposes. The Internet, simply, is one of the best creations of our generation. We can buy, sell, read, learn, listen, write, create, play, share, laugh, inform, discuss, and so much more using just one system.

But what happens when we don’t know when to stop – when we are relying on technology more than we should?

We must email our colleague to say thanks for helping us out; we re-tweet our favourite celebrity because they pulled out a random quote which is completely relevant to our current situation; we text our friend to let her know we are outside her front door (erm, what?); we go to McDonalds with a friend for lunch, and rush home to update our Facebook status, because it was like, the best day everrr. (This is after tagging ourselves there so that our 573 friends know where we are; and before uploading 92 pictures of this crazy day out and the Big Macs that went with it.)

Too many times I have had my Facebook wall bombarded with people who, all of a sudden, want to know how I am. “Omggg, haven’t spoken to you in sooo long! Where av u been??!” And no, these aren’t my friends. These are the people who I may have sat in a geography class with, when we were 14. Never said a word to me in class… Except when doing a group presentation on limestone. But because we are now online ‘friends’, my statuses are suddenly quite funny, my photos are gorgeous and my music taste is pretty awesomesauce.

Something’s not right here. Why am I now a subject of interest to you? Why did you never speak to me before, or when I really needed a friend? Because you’re using technology to hide. No-one needs to know what you really are like. They will only see this image that you paint for the world to see. A fun, friendly person with a beautiful (edited) profile picture, and an exciting (non-existant) social life.

A less dramatic example of this lies with one of my best friends. It’s actually become quite funny, because she’ll call me up and talk to me for hours about the text she is just about to send to her ex-bf. Here’s what she would typically say:

“Shall I say ‘I really miss you, and wish it didn’t have to end like it did.’? Actually, no. That makes me sound desperate, right? I’ll take out the ‘really’. Okay, I’m gonna put 3 dots after that. Wait, NO! I can’t! It’s way too mysterious, he’ll think I’m up to something. Or he might chase me… What do you think? Now the kisses. How many shall I put? I won’t put any, maybe… Hmm, okay I’ll put at least one. I don’t want him to think I’m a stone-cold biatch. DONE. I’m gonna read it all to you now, tell me if there’s anything I need to change.”

… like the guy even cares. Putting that much thought into a text is not healthy!

But see how she tried so hard to keep up this appearance behind a mobile phone? Had she met up with him, everything would have been out in the open. You can’t hide body language, facial expressions, blushing, smiling, natural reactions… And you can really laugh out loud!

Stop tweeting. Start meeting. Go out & start a conversation with a stranger. Look into your partner’s eyes and tell them you love them. (My ex-boyfriend could only declare his love for me with a text; yet he would barely look at me when we met up.) Turn the telly off for an hour, and play a game with your family. If world poverty bothers you so much, quit complaining and writing statuses about it; go and help out as much as you can.

Don’t ever feel as if you have to live up to this image that everyone wants you to be. Because the truth is, nobody cares. They’re too bothered about what THEY look like! And how THEY are portrayed by everyone else! Paradox, much?

Oh, and please try not to forget about the existence of doorbells – respect the classics, man!

Welcome!

Hi, and welcome! Before I started posting, I just wanted to give you all an idea of what my blog is going to be about. And the simple answer is – trying to live a happier life.

Let’s get straight into it: I see a lot of people these days who have forgotten the real purpose of life, and what truly makes them happy. They are working a job they hate, to earn money they don’t need, to live in a house they are barely live in, to support a family they rarely see… Sound familiar? If I can at least help one person realise the difference between ‘existing’ and ’living’, I’ll have done my job. A real job.

My main aim is to bring a smile to other people’s faces. A genuine smile, which reflects genuine happiness. I want to help you reconnect with the real you – free of the material things, free of your current mood, free of your personal image.

I’m not a professional writer, so please excuse the odd mistake. I’ll keep all my posts simple, friendly, and easy to understand & read. I don’t claim to know everything, and everything I do write is an opinion before anything else. So I’d love to hear what you think about my blog – feel free to comment, share advice and thoughts, suggest ideas about topics, ask questions… Anything at all!

I will update my blog regularly, as I have a lot to talk about! In the meantime – keep smiling! And I am very grateful to you for taking your time to check out simmysayssmile. Speak soon.